CommentsDevious Comments Super nice of you to do that, and it's very much appreciated. I never can keep farther and further straight.
For what went on, I wasn't always sure and had to tease much of the imagery from things I had in mind. And Ian... well, all I knew going in was that something got shot and he didn't make it. It rocked my socks to read it to my Wolfshine and when he went back into the machine she said "stupid". Once again, thanks for being such a fan. k -- Be yourself. Just be. That is all you need to do to impress me. Bless, k  "Stupid?" Ian or the outcome? I personally was touched. When he said he was scared, I nearly cried. Death is death, in whatever fashion.
FYI: I screw up farther and further and then and than waaaay too much to be tolerated. lol. Those little writer quirks, we all suffer from them. She meant Ian, when he decided to go back into the machine. I don't think she was touched by his death necessarily, but she sure did enjoy the story.
k -- Be yourself. Just be. That is all you need to do to impress me. Bless, k She has good taste.
|
Site Map
©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
As for your question, I would write Rika's warning to Ian without spaces or internal punctuation. I have done that occasionally in the past, and it takes some careful wording. Somethingsblendtogethertoowellwhenshovedtogetherintoonelongworddefyingtranslateanddefeatingyourpurpose. But keep playing with it and you'll find a combination that stops readers in their tracks but is readable with only a little effort.
Your absence from your keyboard has been beneficial. This was exciting and reminded me all over again why I am such a fan of this story.
One crit: "...But before either could decide to act farther the old man was down..." In this case, the word should be "further" not "farther".